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Top Toys of Yesteryear: A Retro Holiday Gift Guide for SEOs by @albertcostill

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Image Source: Kenny Louie/Flickr

SEOs are a unique breed. The wheels are always turning – trying to come up with the best way to optimize things most of us take for granted. Unlike most of us, every SEO is essentially working around the clock. They’re passionate, devoted, creative, a tad bit on the geeky side and tend to be difficult to shop for.

You could always give a SEO something that would help their profession, such as content writers, web design, ad space, or seminar passes. You could even wrap up the latest gadget, espresso machine, motivational book, or shiny new office chair. But what’s the fun in that? Why not help your favorite SEO relive their childhood with these classic toys from yesteryear? They could definitely use the lightheartedness and trip down memory lane. Besides, what respected geek doesn’t appreciate owning a piece of their childhood?

Chia Pet

Amazon

Chia Pet? Really? Yeah. We’re serious. See, SEOs like to watch something grow organically over time – plus they could use a little bit of nature in that office of theirs – which makes the Chia Pet a great gift. Not to mention, there are so many versions available, you can find a Chia Pet that is appealing to anyone. For example, if your particular SEO is a huge Simpsons fan, you would obviously get them a Chia Homer.

Rubik’s Cube

Wikipedia

It’s been said that Ernő Rubik intended his Rubik’s Cube to solve the structural problem of moving the parts independently without the entire mechanism falling apart. Instead, he created a combination puzzle. Just like restoring a Rubik’s Cube, SEOs are always scrambling trying to solve a complicated puzzle with only a few options.

Bozo the Clown Bop Bag

Amazon

We all need to relieve stress, especially SEOs. And, what better way to relieve stress than by punching a clown in the face?

GI Joe

Wikipedia

Just like these iconic ‘real American Heroes’, SEOs must do battle in land, sea, and air – if you want an elite site. Most importantly, however, GI Joe left us all with one vital piece of information: Now you know, and knowing is half the battle. For SEOs, truer words have never been spoken. Yo Joe!

Magic 8 Ball

Amazon

Everyone needs advice from time to time. Even the almighty SEO. If your SEO is ever stuck with a difficult decision, they will be grateful for this Magic 8 Ball! Having only 20 possible fortunes makes decision-making a whole lot easier!

Furby

Wikipedia

We’re sure that most of you are old enough to remember the Furby frenzy during the holiday season of 1998. Everyone wanted one of those odd animal-looking robots that spoke “Furbish”. What made this robot so appealing? Probably because it had a unique look and children had to teach the toy how to speak English, or whatever language they spoke. Just like the process of teaching a Furby a real language over time, SEO’s embark on the process of taking an idea, product and/or business model and gradually convert into a site that we can all understand – what your business is offering. If not, customers will only see  a site full of”Furbish”.

Barrel of Monkeys

Amazon

The directions for this game are simple. “Dump monkeys onto table. Pick up one monkey by an arm. Hook other arm through a second monkey’s arm. Continue making a chain. Your turn is over when a monkey is dropped.” Just like successfully linking the pieces in this game, SEOs have to link together several factors (content, responsive design, media, localization) to make a site successful.

Yo-yo

Wikipedia

A yo-yo is one of the simplest toys to enjoy. Almost anyone can make it go up and down. The reason that it’s survived since Ancient Greece is because of all the tricks that people can figure out. Just like playing with a yo-yo, anyone can purchase a domain name and launch a website. But, would anyone visit? That’s when a SEO comes in and dazzles everyone with some of their famous “tricks”: mainly unique, interesting content in a great layout.

Pong

Wikipedia

Video games have come a long way since Pong. While there are different platforms and genres for video games, there’s something refreshing about the simplicity and basic game-play of Pong. The same can be said for SEO. While there are apps, gadgets and all sorts of social media platforms to assist in the ever-changing world of online marketing, there remain a basic set of examples that every SEO should remember.

Hoppity Hop

Wikipedia

Being a busy SEO doesn’t leave a whole lot of exercise, so why not get them a present where they can get some blood flowing while in the office? They can probably even use a hoppity hop (aka space hooper, moon hopper, skippyball, kangaroo ball, bouncer), or a yoga/exercise ball, as a new office chair. They say it’s better for your back, along with some other benefits.

Erector Set

Amazon

Besides being a whole lot of fun, picking up an Erector set – or even Legos – would mean a whole lot to a SEO. Why’s that? Just like a kid with construction toys and a big imagination, SEOs like to build things from scratch.

Easy-Bake Oven

Wikipedia

Who can forget this favorite childhood toy? After-all, it was a toy that actually made cookies and other treats that you could bake yourself. How awesome was that for kids? Just like an Easy Bake Oven took various ingredients to create something edible as a child, your SEO combines numerous tasks to make a functional and awesome website for your career to rise.

Star Trek: U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701

Amazon

Inspired by electric stove coils, series art director Matt Jefferies’ design first appeared in the Star Trek pilot episode “The Cage” in 1965. Despite having some alterations throughout the years, the U.S.S. Enterprise remains one of the most recognizable vehicles in pop culture history. You can find replicas of this iconic spaceship on Amazon. Or, you can search for vintage Star Trek toys on eBay if you really want to go old school. Regardless, your SEO will definitely enjoy the gift of the Enterprise. Just like it did with Captain James T. Kirk and company, an SEO will boldly take your online business “Where no man has gone before”.

Vintage Star Wars Figures

Brian’s Toys

When Star Wars was released in 1977, it changed everything. Whether it was how it inspired how movies were made, how it sparked a new kind of fandom to how toys would be released from then on,pop culture would never be the same. The original Kenner Star Wars figures made smaller augmented figures the norm and proved that even a child’s toy could become a collectible in-demand item that adults would pay hundreds of dollars for. Much like Star Wars, SEO changed how the world conducts business. Focusing on an internet presence that is international, as opposed the local shops found in every small town. Besides, we could always use the force to guide us through a galaxy far, far away.

What was your favorite toy as a child? And, can you apply it to the world of SEO? We’d love to hear all about it. And, most importantly, Happy Holidays!

Just a typical guy that enjoys an ice-cold beer, pizza, sports and music. Since venturing into the blogosphere many years ago to discuss his favorite tunes, Al has been known to write for online publications by Alpha Brand Media such as SoJones and AMOG, as well as Search Engine Journal, to discuss everything and anything that matters.

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